What the Fukuoka?

Five of the worst

2011-03-24T03:45:00.000-07:00

Sensationalism is not unheard of in the media, but the coverage of recent events in Japan has thrown up some particularly striking examples of irresponsible and uninformed reporting. And it’s not just the red tops. Let’s take a look at some of the worst offenders (thanks, Journalist Wall of Shame).

UN predicts nuclear plume could hit US by Friday
News source
The Daily Mail
Date
17 March 2011
What’s the beef?
This headline for a start – the idea of a “nuclear plume” “hitting” anywhere is terrifying. Oh, wait, though, “the U.S. Nuclear Regulator Commission said it expected no harmful levels of radiation would reach the U.S. from Japan given the thousands of miles between the two countries.” Thanks for clearing that up. Several paragraphs in. The piece also claims that “some experts say the country has 48 hours to avoid ‘another Chernobyl’” but neither the experts’ names nor their credentials are made clear. It transpires that Thierry Charles of France’s Institute for Radiological Protection and Nuclear Safety made the comments. His assessment, as we know now (and actual experts knew at the time), was wholly inaccurate.
Irresponsibility index
Misleading, sensationalist, draws on Chernobyl (7/10)

Japon: les kamikazes du nucléaire sacrifient leur vie
News source
Le Figaro
Date
15 March 2011
What’s the beef?
Using a phrase associated with WWII suicide bombers to describe members of the Japanese Self-Defence Forces tackling the escalating situation in Fukushima is deeply insensitive and lazily based on dated stereotypes.
Irresponsibility index
This piece sings the praise of its subjects, but seriously, nuclear kamikaze? What next, atomic samurai? (7/10)

Explosion could send contamination to Ireland
News source
The Irish Independent
Date
19 March 2011
What’s the beef?
Outrageous fear-mongering here. The writer bases his story on an almost entirely impossible scenario in which an explosion expels radioactive material 30,000 feet into the air.
Irresponsibility index
Forehead-slappingly bad journalism (8/10)

Tests show low-level radiation on US flights from Japan
News source
CNN
Date
17 March
What’s the beef?
This is particularly insidious because an incident not normally newsworthy (heightened radiation recorded on a plane) is reported with a scary headline merely for attention. The piece ends with an American Airlines spokesman confirming the “pretty high certainty that [the radiation reading] was related to a medical shipment headed to Mexico.”
Irresponsibility index
Printed to make readers afraid (9/10)

Japanese earthquake might be a message from God (via Huffington Post)
News source
The Glenn Beck Program
Date
14 March
What’s the beef?
This is the beef

Irresponsibility index
Glenn Beck is literally insane (10/10)

The C word

2011-03-16T18:16:00.000-07:00

There's been a lot of irresponsible coverage of the ongoing situation at Fukushima Daiichi in the media, with the C word being bandied about quite a bit.

John Beddington, the UK's chief scientific officer had this to say earlier (via The Guardian):

[Even] if you then couple that with the worst possible weather situation ie prevailing weather taking radioactive material in the direction of greater Tokyo and you had maybe rainfall which would bring the radioactive material down - do we have a problem? The answer is unequivocally no. Absolutely no issue. The problems are within 30km of the reactor.

And to give you a flavour for that, when Chernobyl had a massive fire at the graphite core, material was going up not just 500m but to 30,000ft. It was lasting not for the odd hout or so but lasted months, and that was putting nuclear radioactive material up into the upper atmosphere for a very long period of time. But even in the case of Chernobyl, the exclusion zone that they had was about 30km. And in that exclusion zone, outside that, there is no evidence whatsoever to indicate people had problems from the radiation. The problems with Chernobyl were people were continuing to drink the water, continuing to eat vegetables and so on and that was where the problems came from. That's not going to be the case here.

So what I would really re-emphasise is that this is very problematic for the area and the immediate vicinity and one has to have concerns for the people working there. Beyond that 20km or 30km, it's really not an issue for health.

Fox News mistakenly identifies Tokyo nightclub as nuclear plant

2011-03-16T17:52:00.001-07:00

Great job, Fox News.

Siobhán Bell

2011-03-16T08:39:00.000-07:00

I'm not usually one to link to the Indo website, but this article concerns Siobhán Bell, who is here in Japan on the same teaching programme as I am. She was in Sendai City when the tsunami hit and was lucky to survive - her experience must have been terrifying.

Five days on

2011-03-16T08:10:00.000-07:00

When news broke on Saturday that an earthquake had struck off the east coast of Japan, the impression I got was that some damage had been done but things would set themselves straight in a few days. Of course, as it transpired, this was not the case.

The full extent of the damage caused by the resulting tsunami that hit the north west coast of Honshu becomes clearer every day as the official death toll rises (as I write, it stands at over 4,000).

Further compounding the misery of the Japanese is the escalating situation at Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant, with fears that several reactors may have suffered partial fuel melt.

I live in Fukuoka, a prefecture roughly 1,000 km away from Fukushima. There has been talk of widespread stockpiling of food in anticipation of a nuclear crisis, but I never expected it as far away as this.

Of course, sights such as this are more indicative of public concern than any actual threat posed (and, admittedly, at this supermarket only a few shelves, originally containing instant noodles, were empty). It's certainly unsettling, though.

No thank you

2011-01-23T22:04:00.000-08:00

I recently asked my students to draw a picture of their favourite tourist attractions in Japan.

I can now safely say that I will never, ever visit Tokyo Disneyland.

(the scariest part is Donald Duck in the background, watching from afar...)

Hello 2011

2011-01-12T18:39:00.000-08:00

Bye bye 2010. Here's the frankly terrifying December pic in my dogs-dressed-up-in-silly-oufits calendar. I need a new one of those.

Toilet paper tower

2010-11-25T20:17:00.000-08:00

As you can see, my school takes toilet paper restocking very seriously indeed.

Cristal

2010-11-25T20:10:00.000-08:00

My neighbours recently bought a bottle of Cristal. Because that's English-teachers-in-Japan life.

Kumamoto Castle

2010-11-25T20:04:00.000-08:00

While in Kumamoto, we came across this adorable little fellow. And also Higomarukun, Kumamoto Castle's mascot.

Sekia Hills

2010-11-25T19:54:00.000-08:00

And sticking with things that happened a million years ago, here is a pic from Kumamoto where I went for Halloween. We stayed at a hotel called Sekia Hills, which was apparently built by some sort of rich eccentric man who didn't realise that a hotel resort, complete with numerous high-end boutiques and artificial ski slope, probably wouldn't do great business in the middle of the countryside in southern Japan. The hotel is still open and parts of the shopping mall are available to rent (for such events as Halloween parties). This is a picture of the abandoned ski gondola system. Spooky...

Osaka Aquarium Halloween whale shark, y'all

2010-11-25T19:47:00.000-08:00

Oh my, this is a bit old, but anyway... Here is a (plastic) whaleshark with a silly hat on - yus!

Jizzo

2010-09-06T01:32:00.000-07:00

Jizzo: A great place to come with your friends and family!

(Too much? Yeah, that probably was alright, sorry...)

Puff a smoking

2010-09-06T01:28:00.000-07:00

It would appear that dissuading people from smoking has largely been abandoned in Japan.

Bar Dick

2010-09-06T01:03:00.000-07:00

We went in to Bar Dick, chuckling away to ourselves, only to discover that the tasteful interior and significant cover charge rendered it, in fact, too classy an establishment for us.

And so, it was cans from the convenience store again...

Take cake

2010-09-06T00:58:00.001-07:00

Towards the end of our trip to Okinawa, we stayed at a very pleasant hostel called Sora House in Naha which had this sign outside. Sadly, upon enquiring at the reception desk, it became clear that there was no cake to be taken.

Habushu

2010-09-06T00:40:00.000-07:00

Okinawa is also famous for habushu, a type of liquor that is infused with the unique taste of a poisonous snake (called a habu). You'll find it sold in many stores usually with the poor feller curled up dead at the bottom of the bottle.

Since I was there, I thought I'd give it a go and, well, it tasted pretty much exactly like I thought a drink with a dead snake in it would taste. Sorry, habu.

Okinawa

2010-09-06T00:36:00.000-07:00

Whether you're a fan of scuba-diving, hiking, beautiful beaches or babies dressed in pig outfits, Okinawa has it all.

Nude beer

2010-09-06T00:29:00.000-07:00

As I'm sure you can imagine, I was far too nervous to try Nude Beer, but I can only imagine it tastes like sexiness (perhaps not as much as Sprite Zero, though).

Bunkasai

2010-09-06T00:20:00.000-07:00

Japanese schools love their bunkasai (culture festival) so they do. My school offers a special art course, so many of the students are very talented, as you can see from this slightly unsettling Alice in Wonderland picture some of them painted using the faces of teachers instead of characters from the movie.

Try to find me! Hint: I look (the most) like a sex offender.

New toilet!

2010-09-06T00:13:00.000-07:00

Check it: it's my brand-new toilet! My old one was apparently leaking, so I got this one free of charge. Now, to be honest, I think the leak had more to do with the quite visible holes in the bathroom wall than anything else, but never look a gift horse in the mouth, whatever that means.

Look at it there, being all clean and shiny. Oh, the horror that awaits it... The horror...

Parliament

2010-09-06T00:09:00.000-07:00

Here's Charlie Sheen, in a dispatch from somewhere in the mid-90s, proving that smoking is, as we long suspected, stylish and makes you attractive to women. Hooray!

Canal City

2010-09-06T00:04:00.000-07:00

Canal City is a shopping centre in Fukuoka city. It boasts all manner of exciting shops and eateries including La Nail, Tony Moly and, who could forget, Labia!

Lotteria Cheese Tower Burger

2010-09-05T23:44:00.000-07:00

I'll be the first to admit that I've eaten a lot of shitty food in my life. But nothing could have prepared me for Lotteria's Cheese Tower Burger. That's because it's got ten patties. Yes, that's right, TEN. I thought it'd be hilarious to give it a go but the burger was so big that I couldn't physically fit it into my mouth. So, I tried to eat the sides of it for a bit before giving up, putting it back down on the tray and watching it just sort of sloppily fall apart. Much like my sense of respect for my own body.

Sakurajima

2010-09-05T23:33:00.001-07:00

The city of Kagoshima in southern Kyushu has its own active volcano, which goes by the name of Sakurajima. Although rather pretty, it's a little unsettling noticing large plumes of smoke emerge from it as you sit there eating your lunch.

Looking at this picture reminded me of that movie The Mask. Remember? Jim Carrey had that catchphrase "Smmokin'"? That movie was the worst. It disturbs me that this catchphrase has subconsciously stuck with me through the years to the point where it just pops into my head when I see something that is, indeed, smoking. Stupid The Mask...

Sorry, just popped down to the shops there for a bit...

2010-09-05T23:19:00.000-07:00

So, it's been over 5 months since I've updated this blog. Needless to say, all kinds of very exciting things have happened to me during this period, including getting a new toilet, finding a brand of beer named "Nude Beer" and more! Read on, then, for other similarly scintillating tales...

One of the many reasons I have chosen to stay in Japan for another year

2010-03-28T21:50:00.000-07:00

For the record, let it be known that I have never dressed up as Santa Claus and snuck into the room of a child. In Japan.

Shopping in Daimyo

2010-03-28T21:29:00.000-07:00

When it comes to fashion, these cats clearly don't mess around.

"The Placenta"

2010-03-28T21:20:00.000-07:00

I don't even know anymore.

Antiques Café

2010-03-28T19:56:00.000-07:00

Finding good coffee is surprisingly difficult in Japan. I won't lie to you, again and again in times of weakness, I've turned to the lurid, ubiquitous, green glow of Starbucks.

Needless to say, then, I was overjoyed when my mate Lynn recently introduced me to this wee gem of a café in her town. Stepping inside, I felt as if I were returning to those long-lost days I spent as a boy, herding sheep and making fine cheese in the French countryside.

In addition to excellent coffee, there are all manner of delicious crepes, quiches and soups on offer at Antiques Café. There is also, unsurprisingly, a delightful antiques showroom attached.

Unfortunately, Lynn lives in Nagayo, Nagasaki - approximately 3.5 hours away by express train. So, it's back to Starbucks for the time being then.

A belated post on the Nagasaki Lantern Festival 2010

2010-03-28T19:46:00.000-07:00

I've never been the biggest fan of lanterns, to be honest.

Furano

2010-02-25T06:00:00.000-08:00

A few hours from Sapporo by train is the town of Furano, which is famous for its wine, apparently. Behold its bountiful vineyards.

Ishiya chocolate factory

2010-02-25T05:56:00.000-08:00

Sapporo is also well-known for its secret James Bond villain headquarters, er, I mean chocolate factory. Nommers!

Yuki matsuri

2010-02-25T05:45:00.000-08:00

Popped up to Hokkaido a few weeks ago to check out the very cool (pardon the pun - ooh!) snow festival that's thrown every year in Sapporo city. There were plenty of snow and ice structures better than the one above, but I think this pic best illustrates the apparent disregard young Japanese ladies have for even the most punishing cold. All in the name of fashion. A tip of my (well-insulated) cap to them.

Office adventures #14

2010-02-16T22:22:00.000-08:00

All of my co-workers have just returned to the teachers' room, from a staff meeting (I didn't have to go), with brand new, metal shelves - on wheels. This is definitely a bit strange. Oh wait, no, now I have some. I'm not entirely sure why we're getting them, but there you go.

As amazing as new shelves are, there isn't actually anywhere to fit these new units. Except for under our desks. Where our legs are meant to go. Oh, Japan...

PS I didn't want to take a picture in the middle of the staff room because I can't disable the "camera sound" on my phone (a pervert-deterrant feature, presumably *rats*), so just use your imagination...

Okonomiyaki

2010-01-26T05:22:00.000-08:00

Okonomiyaki is the shit. That is all.

Arashi

2010-01-26T04:58:00.000-08:00

So, there we were, making our way through some subway station or other in Tokyo when, all of a sudden, we noticed a huge crowd of people taking pictures up ahead. On closer inspection, it became apparent that they were all women and they were taking a picture of this, er, giant ad. I can't claim to know all that much about Arashi (the boy band featured), but my friend assures me that they are very sexy. Which, from this saucy poster, you can, of course, see for yourself.

Maid cafés

2010-01-26T04:38:00.000-08:00

Oh man, maid cafés are weird. Basically, the deal is, it's just like a regular café but all of the waitresses are young women dressed in over-the-top maid outfits and they buzz around, chatting and playing boardgames with you. Yup. I'm sure it says something profound about the Japanese psyche etc. etc. but I was more miffed at being charged a tenner for a cup of tea.

Happily, though, it's not just pervy men that go - about a third of customers are ladies. Although, that's still two thirds pervy men... Anyway, since we were in Akihabara, the home of the maid café, we thought we'd check one out.

On a sidenote, our waitress totally kicked our arses at Uno.

Capsule hotel

2009-12-30T08:43:00.000-08:00

Capsule hotels are great. You go in, leave your stuff in a locker, put on your complimentary jim-jams and sleep in what can only be described as a very comfortable morgue. AND because mine was men-only, nobody felt the need to talk to anybody else, meaning pointless small-talk was virtually non-existent. Fantastic!

Look! There's even a TV!

Mochi-pounding

2009-12-20T04:39:00.000-08:00

So, the deal with mochi-pounding is, you pound a load of rice like a bastard until it turns into a very sticky mess. Then, you eat said gloop with a variety of different ingredients. All very delicious. However, it's not all fun and games - it can turn nasty at any moment. Like if, in the middle of the pounding frenzy, you accidentally hit the dude who's adding water to the mixture with your large wooden mallet. Mouri-san remains in a stable condition at the time of posting.

Japanese people are the best #31

2009-12-20T04:15:00.001-08:00

So there I was, on the train, having a bit of a sit and a look out the window. Across from me sat a mild-mannered-looking gentleman, who appeared to be reading a teach-yourself-English textbook of some sort. As we approached my stop, I noticed out of the corner of my eye a large green object closing in on my head. Looking up, I saw that it was a plastic bag the aforementioned man had extended towards me. I looked inside and saw some onions and potatoes. His eager nods suggested that this was a gift for me. I graciously accepted and made my way off the train.

On an unrelated note, yes, that is a Winnie the Pooh table and, yes, it serves me well.

New shoes?

2009-12-20T04:06:00.000-08:00

Sumo tournament in Fukuoka

2009-12-04T05:08:00.001-08:00

So, I forgot my camera the day I went to this sumo tournament and had to use my phone. If you look VERY carefully, though, you can just about make out the actual sumo wrestlers in the ring. Sort of. This may be the worst photo ever taken. Anyway, sumo is very exciting altogether. You'll just have to trust me on that one.

Kyoto

2009-12-04T05:04:00.000-08:00

Kyoto is a fascinating city rich in culture and history - it has no less than 17 UNESCO World Heritage sites would you believe?

It also has Womb.

(taking pictures of funny signs will never get old... NEVER I SAY!!!)

Staff room letters

2009-11-15T06:50:00.001-08:00

Sometimes work is tough and you wish you were at home in bed. Then you get a letter from one of the old ladies you work with, inviting you to lunch at the weekend, and everything is alright again.

Especially noteworthy details here include the decorative use of highlighter and unfortunate misspelling of my name.

Miyajima

2009-11-15T06:38:00.000-08:00

In addition to the aforementioned Itsukushima Shrine and all sorts of other exciting things, Miyajima has loads of deer just roaming around, having a laugh. Here is a picture on one licking itself. Great stuff altogether.

Itsukushima Shrine

2009-11-15T06:34:00.000-08:00

on Miyajima is the most photographed shrine in all of Japan, or so I am led to believe.

So, um, here is another picture of it.

Hiroshima

2009-11-15T06:15:00.000-08:00

Hiroshima is a very nice city, dare I say the nicest I have visited so far in Japan. Which, for a former site of nuclear holocaust, is good going. Nice one, Hiroshima.

Drinking in public

2009-11-08T01:00:00.000-08:00

is legal in Japan. This works because, for the most part, Japanese people have the self-respect not to abuse this law and get wrecked down the back of the bus. Unlike me.

Bar Nudie

2009-10-28T06:28:00.001-07:00

I was unable to determine whether or not Bar Nudie was, in fact, a, er, nudie bar. I hope it isn't though, because that would render my posting of this picture a most unsavoury act.

Shinkansen shenanigans

2009-10-20T22:04:00.000-07:00

So, I got the shinkansen (that’s the bullet train to those of you who aren’t as amazing at understanding Japanese as me) on Monday. It was ace.

The picture quality above is, admittedly, poor, but if you look closely through the windows, you can see the very fabric of time bending.

Not having the internet

2009-10-20T22:00:00.000-07:00

because your selfish bastard of a neighbour, whose internet you were stealing, decided to block you, because you were stealing his internet, is totally shit.

Costco

2009-10-05T00:13:00.001-07:00

I am, of course, aware that Costco is not an exclusively Japanese phenomenon. But LOOK at the size of this jar of peanut butter. It’s like some sort of delicious peanut buttery, er… anvil. Or some other similarly-sized stump-shaped object. Like a tree stump perhaps.

Or a goblin-man.

There’s no escape, goblin-man, I’m going to eat you up on my toast. Like this: nyom nyom nyom.

High school students

2009-10-01T05:49:00.000-07:00

One of my students very thoughtfully drew me a picture the other day. Oh, those kids...

Miyazaki adventures

2009-09-24T06:50:00.001-07:00

Beaches, mountains, sparklers, scotch, chicken nanban, ropes, hiking, log cabins, surfers, winding country roads, onsens, sprightly old people, coolers, convenience stores, portable stoves, crap toilets, giant spiders, camp fires, smores, carrots, peanut butter and jam sambos, creepy old men, helpful Canadians, sunrises, traffic jams, mosquitos, inquisitive children, tunnels, baby wipes.

Yup, silver week adventuring in Miyazaki can really take it out of you.

Taiko

2009-09-16T06:52:00.001-07:00

How I have failed to mention taiko thus far, I do not know, but now is the time to right that wrong: taiko is deadly. Hitting big drums with large sticks is the most immensely satisfying post-work activity I have ever encountered. I joined a group in Kokura called Wai Wai about six weeks ago and have been going to practice regularly ever since. They're a pretty righteous crew and no doubt about it. They perform all sorts of different routines with bitchin counter-rhythms and amazing breakdowns and stuff and, and... it's just savage.

Above is Adam from Australia, who was good enough to pose for a photo. I think in this shot he managed to express the savage beauty that lies at the heart of this centuries-old art. Nice one, Adam!

Underground metal

2009-09-13T06:24:00.000-07:00

One thing I've noticed about Japanese versions of Western pursuits is that they don't do things half-arsed. Case in point: last night's sampling of what Fukuoka's underground metal scene has to offer. Those mad bastards rocked the fuck out of it. Some of them even brought real animal hearts on stage so they could smear themselves in blood before they started their sets. You wouldn't see those pansies down in Fibbers doing that, oh no.

Even the toddlers are in on the game. I met this gentleman and his mother outside where every now and then, he would treat the assembled crowd to complex drumming improvisations. The time signature changes were so fast and downright controversial that, to the untrained philistine, it might have sounded like he was just slapping away on the pavement, having a laugh. Not to these finely tuned-ears, though. No, this boy will go far.

Fukuoka SoftBank Hawks

2009-09-13T06:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I went to see the SoftBank Hawks take on the Tohoku Rakuten Golden Eagles in Fukuoka's Yahoo Dome. Now, I've always thought baseball was a bit of a crap sport and this game did little to change my mind. That said, the crowd was proper psyched and gave it socks even when the Hawks were getting their arses kicked.

More exciting than the fans, though, were these stickers that stewards handed out when you got into the stadium.

Sunset Live 2009

2009-09-13T05:45:00.000-07:00

Sunset Live is a festival that's been going down every summer for nearly twenty years in Fukuoka. The great food, proximity to the beach, beautiful weather and eclectic line-up make for an excellent weekend.

All of that faded into the background, however, when I discovered the Marlboro stand at which you could make your own personalised packet of cigarettes.

I put lightning bolts on mine.

Enkai

2009-09-09T06:18:00.000-07:00

The average enkai (Japanese office party) doesn't usually begin with a trip to a men's sauna. But for some reason my first one, which took place over the weekend, did. Oh well, I can't deny that there's something liberating about standing around naked with a load of lads. Sure, at the end of the day, we all have genitals. And if there's a better way to break the ice with a large group of male co-workers than getting bollock-naked in a room together and then lathering up at a row of sit-down showers before hitting the sauna, then I'll be damned.

After drying up, we moved on to dinner, where I made a speech (this particular event was in my honour as a new member of staff) and then got bleedin' mad wrecked. Such a state of intoxication provided the perfect mental state for me to attempt to speak Japanese and I like to think that I learned something from the experience. If only I could remember what exactly that was...

The drinking continued afterwards at a karaoke bar. I don't think I have to explain how amazing karaoke with a load of drunk Japanese high school teachers is. There was amorous serenading of nearby tables of middle-aged ladies, tying of work-ties around foreheads, tambourines, everything.

Man, I love Japan.

Sports Day

2009-09-08T04:41:00.000-07:00

When it comes to sports day, the Japanese don't mess around. There's military stylee marching, brass bands, that thing where people make pictures with different-coloured placards that you can only see from really far away (as above), cheerleading, human pyramids, human bridges, martial arts displays and also sports. Very exciting.

Sports day also means that students get most of the preceeding two weeks off to prepare and teachers get to sit around in the sun supervising activities/craftily snoozing under the cover of sunglasses. Fantastic.

Some take it a little too seriously, though, like that student who visibly wept when his team won the overall prize. That was a strange one alright. That said, it certainly beats the last sports day I was at when I was 14 and I tried hurdles and fell over lots and couldn't actually physically finish the race because I was too shit.

That kind of thing stays with you...

Sprite Zero

2009-09-08T04:33:00.001-07:00

Many things are sexier than water: noticeboards, couches, ties, actual sex and now... Sprite Zero.

Get it into ye.

The Kitakyushu Municipal Museum of Art

2009-09-01T06:50:00.000-07:00

So, there I was, moseying around the Kitakyushu Municipal Museum of Art, in one of the more obscure corners of the gallery, when WHAT did I come across but a print of The Great Wave Off the Coast of Hanagawa. Y'know, that one.

I must say, it fulfilled all of my expectations about what a stereotypical Japanese art gallery should contain.

Then afterwards, when I was walking home (through the scary woods, as you can see above), I saw a snake and it was wriggling at me (with intent, no doubt).

I won't lie to you, I ran away.

But I live to appreciate art another day.

Nagasaki

2009-08-25T05:13:00.000-07:00

Nagasaki is a very nice spot indeed. I recently dropped by to moderately tear shit up with a friend and good times were had. Unfortunately, it's very difficult to communicate the excitingness of the place when the only pictures I took were of war atrocity memorials. These are not exciting things. It was a short-sighted move. At least this picture is nice and colourful (but don't go getting excited about it, because these origami displays are meant to honour the dead, you bastard).

Fireworks

2009-08-20T07:51:00.000-07:00

You have to hand it to the Chinese, not only did they invent paper and Chinese food, but they were also the first ones on the ball with fireworks. Ten points! Then the Japanese got wind of what was going down and made them bigger, faster and more colouredy then ever. Possibly. Either way, I went to a fireworks display in the nearby town of Nogata last night. It was pretty cool alright, although my crap photos don't do the thing much justice.

The following day, a very lovely lady with whom I work informed me that she saw me there the previous night and then, with a wink, made a drinky-drinky gesture. Yes, that's right, I was drinking, however, that shit is legal in public in Japan, which is why it is such a great and powerful nation.

Perhaps public drinking deserves its own post.

Back to fireworks, though, for a second: fireworks are savage.

Space World

2009-08-20T07:21:00.000-07:00

Space World in Kitakyushu is a pretty exciting place alright. It's a space-themed, er, theme park and there's rollercoasters and 3-D fillums and a space museum and machines that spray water at you as you walk by for no discernible reason and all sorts of shit - fantastic. It's also the home of that cute little panda feller you see up there in the title box. I went last week with a few friends and got so overexcited that, before I even got through the gates, I managed to buy myself a year pass. Oh my! Anyways, I would recommend dropping by should you just happen to find yourself in the vicinity; and, I dunno, maybe if you are going, I could come along too. I don't know if I mentioned it before, but I have this year pass thing, so I can go whenever I like. For a whole year.

Yeah, Space World is the best.

Squat toilets

2009-08-14T06:23:00.000-07:00

In a country as technologically advanced as Japan, one might expect the populace to have long ago cast squat toilets into the abyss of defunctness (yes, apparently that is a word) along with their malnourished Tamagotchi and mini-disc players. But no, it would seem that the affectionately named "squatty potties" are, in fact, all the rage. How exactly one uses such a device without messing themselves up real bad remains a mystery as old as time. Actually, there are probably tutorials on YouTube, but I don't care to watch them. No, squatty potties are against God and man and that's the end of it.

Incidentally, my workplace only features such receptacles in the men's toilets (they have nice, sit-down affairs in the ladies' staff toilet, but I've only been working there for two weeks and to be caught using the ladies' might have a significant impact on future working relationships). This is a most undesirable development indeed.

UPDATE: It has subsequently come to my knowledge (upon looking in a second cublicle) that the men's bathroom DOES in fact have a non-squat toilet. So I won't be shitting all over my own pants any time soon then (phew).

Smokes

2009-08-14T05:12:00.000-07:00

Cigarettes are cheap in Japan (about €2.50 a packet - take that, life expectancy!). Also, the health warnings are in Japanese so they don't really count. There are many exciting brands you can enjoy here. I picked up some Seven Stars the other day - I don't think this particular variety would market very well at home. They come in a pack as opposed to a girly carton, which makes for a more satisfying smoking experience. Cigarettes can be purchased in many locations, including the approximately sixty bazillion vending machines that are dotted all over the country. But that's another post for another day...